1 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:09,380 Downpour perfumery, stationery and leather goods, wigs and haberdashery, 2 00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:11,260 kitchenware and food going on. 3 00:00:15,380 --> 00:00:22,140 Oh, is that the best you can 4 00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:23,140 do, Miss Brown? 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,100 It's not my job, is it? I'll try again. 6 00:00:41,989 --> 00:00:44,490 Oh, never mind. Come along. 7 00:00:48,910 --> 00:00:55,190 Oh, Miss Brown, pull your skirt down. That may be, but now that we're sharing 8 00:00:55,190 --> 00:00:59,230 our department with gents' outfits, it might pay us to be a little more 9 00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:00,230 circumspect. 10 00:01:02,110 --> 00:01:03,110 Oh, 11 00:01:03,690 --> 00:01:05,430 blimey, women drivers. 12 00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:09,390 That'll do, Mr. Mash. Instead of standing there making your sarcastic 13 00:01:09,590 --> 00:01:10,590 you could give us a hand. 14 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,680 Middle class cow. 15 00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:23,340 Having trouble with Mrs. Slocum? Oh, that woman's lip's gone to her head, 16 00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:27,300 Oh, I hope not. If she burns her bra, we'll have to call out the London Fire 17 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:28,300 Brigade. 18 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,280 Woman's department. 19 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:33,800 Whoever heard of a woman's department on this floor? 20 00:01:34,270 --> 00:01:37,890 It's been men's ever since I was a boy. That Mrs Pankhurst really started 21 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:41,370 something. Well, what are you going to do about it, Mr Humphreys? Well, as a 22 00:01:41,370 --> 00:01:44,530 matter of fact, I was thinking of chaining myself to the lift gates. 23 00:01:46,650 --> 00:01:47,650 Kinky. 24 00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:53,670 Here you are, then. 25 00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:57,010 What's that? 26 00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,230 Mr Knowles sent it up from display. 27 00:01:59,430 --> 00:02:01,950 It's the new Beauty Bell point -of -sale model. 28 00:02:02,510 --> 00:02:03,630 Here, what's this? Look. 29 00:02:10,509 --> 00:02:11,830 It's a common thing in my department. 30 00:02:12,390 --> 00:02:14,290 You're just jealous because you can't do it. 31 00:02:16,630 --> 00:02:17,630 Oh, I don't know, though. 32 00:02:20,370 --> 00:02:22,050 Hide it somewhere, Miss Brown. 33 00:02:22,550 --> 00:02:24,330 I'm afraid you can't do that, Mrs. Slocum. 34 00:02:24,570 --> 00:02:25,950 Why not, Captain Peacock? 35 00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:29,810 Because we now have the sole concession for Beauty Bell. I'm not surprised. 36 00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:33,530 And if you don't display it somewhere prominent, you'll have trouble with the 37 00:02:33,530 --> 00:02:34,509 buying department. 38 00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:35,489 I see. 39 00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:39,710 Sign somewhere prominent for it, Miss Brown, and in the meantime, I'll just... 40 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,760 shove it under the counter. 41 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:53,380 Has anyone got a ladder? 42 00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:58,380 Monty, is that the best you can do? It's the nearest I've been to it all 43 00:02:58,380 --> 00:02:59,380 morning. 44 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,100 Here they are. Give me a hand with this. 45 00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,980 Look up all the way down. Do you want heads or tails? Now, do be careful. 46 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,100 Careful, Mrs. Stoke might have to wait six weeks for it. Well, when you get to 47 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,100 her age, what can you expect? 48 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,460 Mr. Lucas, put something on it. 49 00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:16,740 It is a house rule, you know. 50 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:20,160 Oh, well, I'm sorry, Mr. Granger. I thought it was all right if there was 51 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,520 inside. Yes, well, it's hardly sufficient, is it? 52 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,300 I see what you mean. 53 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,380 Anyway, the upper part should be obscured. I'm sorry, Mr. Granger. 54 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:36,900 How long have you been with Grace Brothers, Mr. Luton? One month, Mr. 55 00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,600 I'm still sort of feeling my way around, as you might say. 56 00:03:41,860 --> 00:03:42,860 Yes. 57 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:44,740 Cothold. 58 00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,060 Oh, what about obscuring it? All right, then lend us your knickers. 59 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:49,280 No, don't do that. 60 00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:51,280 In any way, they wouldn't obscure anything. 61 00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:52,660 Oh, the lip dolls. 62 00:03:52,980 --> 00:03:53,980 Hang on, back up. 63 00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:56,180 Oh, it's a bug. 64 00:03:56,760 --> 00:03:57,760 Oops. 65 00:04:06,659 --> 00:04:08,500 Come on, dear, you're going on the podium. 66 00:04:10,620 --> 00:04:11,800 That's it, on there, that's right. 67 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,880 Oh, really, don't be so clumsy. 68 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:17,040 Thank you, Miss Brahms. 69 00:04:23,820 --> 00:04:25,160 Isn't there something missing? 70 00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:27,820 Oh, no, I think it looks quite realistic, actually. 71 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,500 Oh, I see what you mean. 72 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,360 It must be in the lift. 73 00:04:33,890 --> 00:04:38,150 Put the Shandor two -piece on it, Miss Brown. Yes, Mrs. Gluck. Oh, and hurry up 74 00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:41,230 with that head, Mr. Lucas. It's nearly opening time. Call me a minute. 75 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:06,180 Mr. Lucas. 76 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,720 Oh, yes. 77 00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:09,620 Oh, really? 78 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,040 That's better. 79 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,400 Oh, look what you've done to the nose. 80 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,400 Oh, you've ruined it. 81 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,260 No, I haven't. I haven't ruined it. 82 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,120 Well, I mean, they always look too perfect, these models, anyway, don't 83 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,560 I mean, people do have crooked noses, you know. 84 00:05:28,420 --> 00:05:30,980 Somebody might come in one day with a crooked nose, look at that dress and 85 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,520 I'll have that dress, it'll go with my crooked nose. 86 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,560 think they would, Mr. Lucas. 87 00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:40,420 I'm afraid I shall have to complain to your superiors about this. 88 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:45,060 And in the meantime, Miss Brahms, oh dear, take the head off that model over 89 00:05:45,060 --> 00:05:48,520 there. Yeah, but it's not all his fault, Mrs. Slocum. I did ask him to help me. 90 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,640 There'll have to be an inquiry. 91 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,260 Somebody will have to pay. 92 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:55,000 Well, I was only trying to help. Oh, and look at the marks on the shoes. Oh, 93 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,660 well, I'll soon get that off. Oh, really? 94 00:05:58,500 --> 00:06:01,140 Hand me some of the cufflinks, will you, Mr. Humphreys? 95 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,460 Plain gold or the glittery one? 96 00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,780 No, no, gold is more dignified. 97 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,360 The glitter detracts from the shirt, and it's the shirt we're trying to sell. 98 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,520 You're quite right, Mr. Granger. I never thought of that. Don't rub too hard. 99 00:06:14,140 --> 00:06:17,520 Gold isn't what it used to be. No, no, it isn't. Nothing's what it used to be, 100 00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:18,860 is it, Mr. Granger? No, indeed. 101 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:23,160 How do you find young Mr. 102 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:24,800 Lucas? Oh, he's very obliging. 103 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,239 Is he? 104 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,200 Well, I mean, he helps out and that sort of thing. 105 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,920 Yes, but I think it's time that he stopped helping out with the ladies and 106 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:33,140 returned to his own department. 107 00:06:33,540 --> 00:06:34,540 Shall I tell him? 108 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:37,980 Yes. Say that I would like to have a word with him. 109 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,480 Good morning, Mr. Lucas. 110 00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:42,820 Oh, sir. 111 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,360 Am I to understand that you have deserted gentlemen's ready -made in 112 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:46,979 the ladies? 113 00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:48,160 Well, I'm just giving a helping answer. 114 00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,120 Oh, well, I'm glad to see that the arrival of the ladies in your territory 115 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:52,400 hasn't caused any bad blood. 116 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,400 Oh, no, not for me, Captain Peacock. 117 00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:58,920 One wonders whether the arrival of gentlemen's shoes, for instance, would 118 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,340 been greeted with the same enthusiasm. 119 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:05,280 Mr. Lucas is doing his best to make us feel at home, Captain Peacock, which is 120 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,000 more than can be said for the rest of the department. 121 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,680 Well, just a passing phase, Mrs. Slocum. 122 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,620 With your personality, I'm sure you could charm the very birds off the 123 00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,560 Oh, I wouldn't say that. 124 00:07:15,860 --> 00:07:16,860 Neither would I. 125 00:07:17,340 --> 00:07:20,200 And, Lucas, while you're down there, straighten those seams. 126 00:07:20,810 --> 00:07:22,450 I hate to see crooked scenes. 127 00:07:22,870 --> 00:07:23,870 Yes, Mr. Peacock. 128 00:07:23,950 --> 00:07:25,010 Captain Peacock. 129 00:07:38,130 --> 00:07:39,730 I'm sorry, Mrs. Slocum. 130 00:07:40,070 --> 00:07:43,270 Captain Peacock told me to do it. I mean, straighten them, I mean. Not 131 00:07:43,330 --> 00:07:44,289 the dummies. 132 00:07:44,290 --> 00:07:45,890 Creep in once, you'll... Yes, thank you. 133 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,050 I'm so... 134 00:07:51,850 --> 00:07:55,870 Are you all right, Mrs. Slocum? Oh, that Mr. Lucas just put his hands all over 135 00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:57,110 Miss Dockins. Oh, dear. 136 00:07:57,470 --> 00:07:58,870 I hope he didn't lather them. 137 00:07:59,190 --> 00:08:00,190 No, no. 138 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:02,790 He has quite smooth hands, actually. 139 00:08:04,430 --> 00:08:06,370 You wanted to see me, Mr. Granger? 140 00:08:06,610 --> 00:08:12,830 Mr. Lucas, it isn't that we want to be unfriendly to the ladies, but at the 141 00:08:12,830 --> 00:08:15,650 time we don't want to be too outgoing in our welcome. 142 00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:18,890 Well, I was only trying to be helpful. I mean, after all, they are human beings, 143 00:08:19,010 --> 00:08:19,609 aren't they? 144 00:08:19,610 --> 00:08:23,390 Yes, you may be right there, but see it from our point of view. 145 00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:28,610 That section has been part of the gents ready -made for the last 25 years, 146 00:08:28,910 --> 00:08:34,330 hasn't it, Mr. Humphreys? Yes, Mr. Granger. Now we have 30 % less space, 147 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:40,169 could mean 30 % less sales, and possibly 30 % less salesmen. 148 00:08:40,809 --> 00:08:45,590 Am I right, Mr. Humphrey? Quite right, Mr. Granger. You have only been with us 149 00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:46,610 very short time. 150 00:08:46,950 --> 00:08:49,750 Am I right, Mr. Lucas? Quite right, Mr. Granger. 151 00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,330 Just watch it, that's all. 152 00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:56,910 Don't take any notice of him. He won't sack you. He's too soft -hearted. 153 00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:58,830 He'll get Peacock to do it. 154 00:09:01,979 --> 00:09:05,000 I mean, was that right, what he said, about, you know, 30 % less sales? 155 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,500 Well, not in your case. I mean, you couldn't have 30 % of nothing, could 156 00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:10,320 It's not my fault, is it? 157 00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:12,980 I mean, it's all this stupid seniority thing. 158 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:16,260 I mean, the only chance I get a look in to serve someone is when you're too busy 159 00:09:16,260 --> 00:09:19,380 serving somebody else. Well, when you've been here as long as I have, you'll get 160 00:09:19,380 --> 00:09:20,239 first back. 161 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,880 By that time, I shan't hear what the customer's asking for but the creaking 162 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:23,879 me joints. 163 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,360 Another remark like that and you could lose the only friend you have. 164 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:29,520 Opening time. 165 00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:30,910 Stand by for the stampede. 166 00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:32,630 Tie, Mr. Lucas? 167 00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:35,070 Yes, of course, Captain Peacock. Anything in particular, sir? 168 00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:37,270 Straighten your tie, Mr. Lucas. 169 00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:39,510 Yes, sir. 170 00:09:40,730 --> 00:09:42,030 One pencil is sufficient. 171 00:09:43,070 --> 00:09:44,070 Yes, 172 00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:45,270 Captain Peacock. 173 00:09:46,010 --> 00:09:48,010 Shall I keep the HB all this special soft? 174 00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:52,430 If you were troubled to read the memo from the accounts department, you would 175 00:09:52,430 --> 00:09:54,050 know that they prefer ballpoints. 176 00:09:54,390 --> 00:09:55,410 Correct, Mr. Humphrey? 177 00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:57,070 Ballpoints, Captain Peacock. 178 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,440 Actually, I did have a ballpoint pen, but I was always getting ticked off 179 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,980 because I kept getting blue streaks on my white handkerchief, you see. 180 00:10:06,340 --> 00:10:09,180 Possibly a retractable pen would solve your problem. 181 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:10,960 Oh, that's very nice, sir. 182 00:10:12,020 --> 00:10:13,400 You can get them from the station. 183 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:15,420 You've got a staff discount. 184 00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:16,659 Yes, sir. 185 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:18,800 And by the way, how about that handkerchief? 186 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:21,180 May I show you how we do it at Grace Brothers? 187 00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:26,980 We don't just take it from the laundry, fold it and stuff it in. 188 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:28,640 Don't we? 189 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:30,400 No. 190 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:31,640 What do we do? 191 00:10:33,820 --> 00:10:35,820 Oh, excuse me. Don't interrupt. 192 00:10:38,340 --> 00:10:39,820 We place it so. 193 00:10:40,820 --> 00:10:43,160 We then take it in the middle, like so. 194 00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,140 We flute it so. 195 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:51,440 We bend over the bottom so. 196 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,520 And tuck it back so. 197 00:10:56,580 --> 00:10:58,640 The effect is casual but smart. 198 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,800 Sets the pen off nicely, too. 199 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:05,260 Well, do it. 200 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:06,520 Ah, yes, yes. 201 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:12,760 Take it from the centre. 202 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,600 Or as near to the centre as you can get. 203 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:19,839 Flute it. 204 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:20,840 Flute it. 205 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:24,800 Bend over the bottom. 206 00:11:25,820 --> 00:11:26,840 Bend over the bottom. 207 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:28,360 And tuck it. 208 00:11:29,420 --> 00:11:30,420 Tuck it. 209 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,460 Good. That's much better. 210 00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,040 Carry on. 211 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,720 What a bloody palaver. 212 00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:44,600 You must admit, it does look rather smart. 213 00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,340 I suppose it does. Especially if it's on cardboard. 214 00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:52,400 How long did you say you've been with this firm? 215 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:55,320 Ten years, is it? I mean, how'd you manage to put up with it? You just have 216 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,160 smile and grit your teeth. This is the second set I've had this year. 217 00:12:00,300 --> 00:12:01,740 It's much better than where I was before. 218 00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:04,040 I was in tools, paint and hardware. 219 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:06,520 You meet a much nicer class of person at Grace Brothers. 220 00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:10,100 Not many of them, though, do you? Well, he wants to buy a suit at nine o 'clock 221 00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:11,100 in a Monday morning. 222 00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:12,500 That's all it does. 223 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,880 Let me serve him. I didn't make any commission last Friday. You sold that 38 224 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,820 long. I know, but the man brought it back again. His wife didn't like it. It 225 00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,240 didn't fit her. Go on, please, let me have him. 226 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:22,600 It's Granger's first. 227 00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:23,920 Well, he hasn't seen him. 228 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:25,820 I'm going to serve him. Well, don't mess it up. 229 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:27,670 Good morning, sir. Are you being served? 230 00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:31,250 No. Perhaps I could interest you, sir, in overcoat, sir. This type of overcoat 231 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,310 here is ideal for our present inclement weather that we're having, sir. Now, of 232 00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:38,590 course, it looks like tweed, but in fact, it has been macatexed, which means 233 00:12:38,590 --> 00:12:40,470 that it is almost entirely waterproof. 234 00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:42,470 What size are you, sir? 235 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:44,810 Well, as a matter of fact, I was looking for the gents. 236 00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,710 In that case, size doesn't really come into it, does it? 237 00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:57,799 Mr. Lucas. 238 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,720 Yes. If you'd allowed Mr. 239 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:03,780 Humphreys or myself to deal with that customer, we might have made a sale. 240 00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:04,519 did he want? 241 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,100 The gents. The gents what? The gents, gents. 242 00:13:07,900 --> 00:13:09,660 It must be raining again. 243 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,420 They always come in when it's raining. 244 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,720 Well, now, get behind your counter. 245 00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:21,700 Because young Mr. Grace will be coming in in a minute. 246 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:24,400 Who? Young Mr. Grace, the chairman. 247 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:29,280 Yes, he'll be coming in a minute. He always comes in on the first Monday of 248 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,940 month. Yes, sir. Right. 249 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,940 And clear up that litter. 250 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:36,840 Clear that litter. 251 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:42,680 Hello. What's that? 252 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,500 Blue Cinema Club. 253 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:48,480 I shouldn't have thought a young, virile gentleman like yourself needed that 254 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:49,480 sort of stimulation. 255 00:13:49,780 --> 00:13:53,620 It's not mine. It fell out of Captain Peacock's pocket. It didn't. Let me have 256 00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:54,620 look. 257 00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:56,560 Oh, member's signature. 258 00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,140 Captain John Smith. 259 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,020 Captain John Smith. 260 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,540 That's him, all right. 261 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,840 I wondered why he bought that brown raincoat in the sale. 262 00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:06,240 I better give it to him. 263 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,560 That'll be the last thing you do. 264 00:14:09,260 --> 00:14:12,560 What do you mean? Well, if he knows that you know that he goes sitting in that 265 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,580 little cinema where there's no room for your legs and they all have their macks 266 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:17,440 over their knees... How do you know what it looks like? 267 00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:20,480 My doctor sent me there for therapy. 268 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,600 Did it work? 269 00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:25,990 That's none of your business. 270 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:30,210 Well, what are we going to do? We're going to do nothing. You leave it there. 271 00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:34,130 He'll see it. He's got eyes like a Scandinavian mountain hawk. We'll 272 00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:34,989 haven't seen it. 273 00:14:34,990 --> 00:14:38,150 Now then, I don't want anybody to go to coffee until young Mr. Grace, the 274 00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:40,750 chairman, comes through on his way to the executive suite. Of course not, 275 00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:41,790 Captain Peacock. 276 00:14:45,870 --> 00:14:50,810 I understand that Mr. Grace comes in on every Monday morning of the first Monday 277 00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:51,749 of the month, sir. 278 00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:52,790 Quite right, Mr. Smith. 279 00:14:53,090 --> 00:14:54,090 Lucas. 280 00:14:55,030 --> 00:14:56,850 I am looking forward to seeing him, sir. 281 00:14:57,370 --> 00:14:59,050 We're all looking forward to seeing him. 282 00:15:01,330 --> 00:15:03,350 Do you remember how to flute yours? 283 00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:06,090 Oh, yes, sir. Well, I'll just show you once more. 284 00:15:19,590 --> 00:15:23,430 Is that clear? 285 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:25,840 Casual but smart. 286 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,640 Just like a conjuring trick. 287 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,360 So carry on. 288 00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:36,360 Hello, here he is. Who? Young Mr. Grace. 289 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,080 Young Mr. 290 00:15:44,140 --> 00:15:48,040 Grace. Old Mr. Grace doesn't get about very much these days. He runs in the 291 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:49,040 family, doesn't he? 292 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,260 Morning. Morning. 293 00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,760 Morning. Good morning. Good morning. 294 00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:58,460 Good morning. Good morning. 295 00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,340 Good morning. 296 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,120 Good morning. 297 00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:06,760 He's worth two million. 298 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000 Two million? 299 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:10,280 He can't take it with him. The way he's walking, he looks as though he's 300 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,280 carrying it on his back. 301 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,820 Good morning. 302 00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:19,640 Your receipt is inside. 303 00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:22,300 Thank you so much. Good morning. 304 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:23,439 Good morning. 305 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,600 Oh, Miss Brown. Yes. 306 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:30,140 I want you to pop over and ask Mr Humphreys if he'd mind removing his 307 00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,300 from this centre stand. 308 00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:36,080 I want to put our strapless bras up there. Yes, Mrs Slocum. And don't get 309 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,560 delayed by that, Mr Lucas. 310 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:40,160 No. Oh, and don't forget to mention all these trousers. 311 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,560 Right. 312 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,720 Are you free, Mr Humphreys? 313 00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,780 At the moment, yes. 314 00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:51,660 Good. Mrs. Slocum asked me to ask you if you wouldn't mind removing your shirts 315 00:16:51,660 --> 00:16:52,760 from the centre display stand. 316 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,480 Remove my shirts? Whatever for? Well, she wants to put her strapless bras 317 00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:58,420 Oh, yes, and the trousers as well. 318 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,780 I'm sorry, my dear. That's more than my job's worth. You'll have to take it up 319 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:02,599 with Mr. Granger. 320 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:03,740 They're his trousers anyway. 321 00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,800 Thank you, Mr. Humphreys. You're so obliging. 322 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:10,440 She's got a nerve. 323 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,800 What's the matter now? She wants to remove my shirt and put a bra there 324 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,060 Yes, you all. 325 00:17:17,300 --> 00:17:21,099 Don't worry about the sleeves, sir. They'll ride up with wear. 326 00:17:21,940 --> 00:17:26,540 If they don't, do bring them back, and this is yours, sir. 327 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,079 Good day, sir. 328 00:17:29,920 --> 00:17:35,080 Oh, are you being served, madam? No, I'm Mrs. Slocum's assistant, Miss Brahms. 329 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:36,740 Oh, indeed. 330 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,740 Yes, she asked me to ask you if you'd mind if Mr. Humphreys took the shirts 331 00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:41,740 from the centre display. 332 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,200 Take the shirts down from the centre display. 333 00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:47,830 Yes, she wants to put her bras there. 334 00:17:48,250 --> 00:17:49,490 Her bras what? 335 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,830 No, her bras. 336 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:55,250 Oh, yes, and there's the trousers as well. 337 00:17:55,590 --> 00:17:56,990 I beg your pardon? 338 00:17:57,330 --> 00:18:01,370 Mr. Slocum didn't like to take down your trousers without asking you. 339 00:18:03,870 --> 00:18:08,830 I think that if Mrs. Slocum wants to make any further inroads into my 340 00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:11,810 department, she had better inform me personally. 341 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:15,660 Right, well, I'll tell you I'll come across then. On the contrary, she can 342 00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:16,660 and see me. 343 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,040 Very well. 344 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:25,360 She did ask me first, Mr Granger, but of course I sent her straight over to you. 345 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:26,820 You're quite right indeed. 346 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,540 I hope I did the right thing, Mr Granger. You certainly did. 347 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,460 I hope I did the right thing, Mrs Slocum. You did, Miss Barnes. 348 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,600 I'll soon sort him out. 349 00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:37,720 He'll feel the rough edge of my tongue. 350 00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:39,560 Yes, well, do be careful, Mrs Slocum. 351 00:18:40,650 --> 00:18:43,290 Round two, Mrs. Slocum comes out of her corner on her two flat feet. 352 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,470 Good morning, Mr. Granger. 353 00:18:47,170 --> 00:18:48,170 Are you free? 354 00:18:49,330 --> 00:18:54,410 Yes, I'm free. I understand there's been a little misunderstanding regarding the 355 00:18:54,410 --> 00:18:55,409 centre stand. 356 00:18:55,410 --> 00:19:00,310 Not at all. That stand has been the focal point of our sales display since 357 00:19:00,310 --> 00:19:04,250 advent of Oxford bags, and it is going to stay that way. 358 00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:08,290 Oh, that isn't what I understood when I agreed to share my department with you. 359 00:19:08,530 --> 00:19:09,750 May I remind you? 360 00:19:10,010 --> 00:19:13,170 I am not sharing with you. You are sharing with me. 361 00:19:13,470 --> 00:19:14,490 Well, what's the difference? 362 00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:19,250 The difference, Mrs. Slocum, is that you're not going to get that stand. 363 00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:21,870 I see. 364 00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:26,550 Well, I shall have to go over your head, which won't be all that difficult. 365 00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:34,090 Can I get you a glass of water, Mr. Granger? A glass of water for Mr. 366 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:35,430 Let the cold tap run. 367 00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,090 free, Captain Peacock? 368 00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:44,230 At the moment, yes. 369 00:19:45,150 --> 00:19:47,750 Well, it's like this, Captain Peacock. 370 00:19:48,050 --> 00:19:52,370 When I agreed to move my department down here, I understood that I was to have 371 00:19:52,370 --> 00:19:53,790 proper display facilities. 372 00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:59,590 Well, I've just asked, very politely, asked Mr. Granger to accommodate me on 373 00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:00,590 centre stand. 374 00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:02,670 And he as good as told me to get stuffed. 375 00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:08,660 That doesn't sound like our Mr. Granger. Oh, well, those weren't his exact 376 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:09,940 words, but that's what he implied. 377 00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:12,400 Well, what do you expect me to do, Mrs. Slocum? 378 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:17,660 Well, I thought that as you were in command here, you'd tell him where he 379 00:20:17,660 --> 00:20:20,800 off. Well, you must understand, Mrs. 380 00:20:21,180 --> 00:20:22,340 Slocum... Oh, come now. 381 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:23,920 Betty. 382 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,320 Betty. 383 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,420 As I was saying, you must understand, Mrs. Slocum, that Mr. 384 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,580 Granger has been here a very, very long time. 385 00:20:32,820 --> 00:20:33,820 Then it's time he went. 386 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,300 It's hardly your place to decide that. 387 00:20:36,580 --> 00:20:39,760 Do you mean you're just going to stand there and let him walk all over me? 388 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,340 I don't think there's much danger of that. 389 00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:44,840 What are you going to do? 390 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,940 I shall go and have a word with him and hear his side of it. But I told you his 391 00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:50,940 side of it. 392 00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:53,280 You must leave this to me, Mrs. Slocum. 393 00:20:53,500 --> 00:20:55,040 Very well, Captain Peacock. 394 00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:00,590 What did he say? 395 00:21:00,670 --> 00:21:03,610 Oh, he's as weak as water. Weak as water he is. 396 00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:04,950 Weak as water! 397 00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:10,030 Anyway, he's taking it up. Oh, I bet you twist him round your little finger. 398 00:21:10,170 --> 00:21:12,430 Well, after all, he's only a man. 399 00:21:14,390 --> 00:21:17,170 There, there, Mr Granger. Now, you mustn't upset yourself. 400 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:20,810 We're right behind you, aren't we, Mr Lucas? Oh, right up to the hilt. Thank 401 00:21:20,810 --> 00:21:22,850 you, Mr Humphreys. Thank you, Mr Lucas. 402 00:21:23,110 --> 00:21:25,090 It's been a pleasure, Mr Granger. 403 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:28,200 Now, it's coming over. 404 00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:29,680 Don't give in. Oh, I won't. 405 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:31,600 Oh, yes, hello. 406 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,080 Son, 407 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:38,280 very quiet this morning, Mr. Granger. Yes, very, very quiet. Very quiet 408 00:21:38,540 --> 00:21:41,760 Mr. Lucas and I were just remarking how quiet it was, weren't we, Mr. Lucas? Oh, 409 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,660 yes, very quiet, very quiet, yes, very, very quiet, yes. I think things might 410 00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:45,820 liven up in a minute or two, though. 411 00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,560 If you're free, Mr. Granger, I'd like a word. 412 00:21:49,820 --> 00:21:52,060 Oh, yes, I think I'm free, yes, yes. 413 00:21:53,580 --> 00:21:55,120 Take over, will you, Mr Humphreys? 414 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,400 I'm going to have a word with Captain Peacock. 415 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:02,000 Would you like me to take over from you, Mr Humphreys? No, get over there and 416 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,100 see if you can hear what they're saying. 417 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,500 I have just been having a word with Mrs Slocum. 418 00:22:07,900 --> 00:22:08,900 So have I. 419 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:12,840 A very difficult woman, Ernest. Yes, most of them are. 420 00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:17,640 Yes, I'm in a very awkward position, you understand. I mean, I'm under fire from 421 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,619 both sides. 422 00:22:18,620 --> 00:22:22,160 Well, look here, Stephen, you and I have known each other for many years. 423 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:28,280 You know that I would do anything in my power to smooth the way. Thank you, 424 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,080 Ernest. Short of giving her that stand. 425 00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,400 You're not getting it. 426 00:22:35,100 --> 00:22:36,200 We're not getting it. 427 00:22:36,600 --> 00:22:37,600 I see. 428 00:22:50,290 --> 00:22:51,290 Rumble's office. 429 00:22:52,130 --> 00:22:54,590 Hello? Could I speak to Mr. Rumble's, please? 430 00:22:55,070 --> 00:22:57,290 Well, I'm sorry, Mrs. Loken, but I'm afraid Mr. 431 00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,390 Rumble's still with young Mr. Grace at the moment. 432 00:23:00,150 --> 00:23:02,030 Oh, hang on a second. I think he's just leaving. 433 00:23:06,590 --> 00:23:07,590 Morning. Morning. 434 00:23:09,070 --> 00:23:10,070 Morning. 435 00:23:11,730 --> 00:23:12,730 Well, 436 00:23:16,870 --> 00:23:17,930 that was a short day, wasn't it? 437 00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:20,280 I don't know he's put in ten minutes. 438 00:23:21,380 --> 00:23:23,780 I think it's a toss -up between the bank and the undertaker. 439 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,720 I'll build a stairway to Canada. 440 00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:34,040 Come on, Sir Edmund. Come on, Sir Edmund. 441 00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:39,780 You've all done very well. 442 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:45,700 Does that mean we can all go home? 443 00:23:47,740 --> 00:23:48,659 Mrs. Slocum. 444 00:23:48,660 --> 00:23:49,660 Oh, thank you. 445 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:55,160 Mr. Rumbled, I'm sorry to trouble you, but I have a rather serious complaint to 446 00:23:55,160 --> 00:24:00,140 make. Ernie Rumbled, she's going over my head. She's already been over mine. 447 00:24:00,700 --> 00:24:06,080 Well, I've heard both sides of the story and I appreciate your points about your 448 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:12,820 brasiers, Mrs. Slocum, but you must realise that that stand has been the 449 00:24:12,820 --> 00:24:16,020 point of Mr. Granger's trousers for the last 25 years. 450 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:25,660 We must all pull together and make the machine run smoothly. 451 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:26,779 Here, here. 452 00:24:26,780 --> 00:24:29,960 Here, here. Here, here, too, but what are we going to do about it? 453 00:24:30,260 --> 00:24:31,400 Well, it's very difficult. 454 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,440 It's not at all easy for you, sir, being Solomon, is it? No, indeed it isn't, 455 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,740 Captain. Nobody's cutting a baby in half. 456 00:24:38,020 --> 00:24:39,020 What baby? 457 00:24:39,060 --> 00:24:41,420 That's what Solomon did, Mr. Rumbold. 458 00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:42,559 Did he? 459 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:43,560 Whatever for? 460 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:48,580 No, no, no. As a matter of fact, he didn't. Two women came unto Solomon with 461 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:49,579 same baby. 462 00:24:49,580 --> 00:24:50,880 Both claiming it was theirs. 463 00:24:51,700 --> 00:24:54,600 I don't think that's apropos, Captain Peacock. 464 00:24:55,340 --> 00:24:57,460 We are here to discuss Mrs. 465 00:24:57,660 --> 00:24:59,260 Slocum displaying her underwear. 466 00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:04,800 Furthermore, I don't happen to have a baby. And if I did have a baby, it would 467 00:25:04,800 --> 00:25:07,240 be nothing to do with whether I had my underwear up or not. 468 00:25:08,060 --> 00:25:10,580 No, Mr. Justice, you did have a baby. 469 00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:13,820 I don't happen to be married at the moment. 470 00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:16,240 Well, it's not unheard of these days, you know. 471 00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:17,840 What's not unheard of? 472 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,620 Having a baby out of wedlock. 473 00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:24,900 Look, what's me not having a baby got to do with him not taking his trousers 474 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:25,900 down? 475 00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:32,400 They've been at it for two hours in there. I know. I wonder what's going to 476 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:34,300 happen. They're probably going to take it to Vic Feather. 477 00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:37,140 Here they come. 478 00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:42,880 Mr Humphreys, if you're free. 479 00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:44,940 Miss Bronze, gather round. 480 00:25:47,790 --> 00:25:48,910 Mr. Lucas, are you free? 481 00:25:50,030 --> 00:25:51,030 I'm free. 482 00:25:53,010 --> 00:25:55,610 Come a little closer. We don't want the customers to hear us. You'd have to 483 00:25:55,610 --> 00:25:56,610 shout. 484 00:25:57,590 --> 00:26:02,290 Ladies and gentlemen, and ladies, Mrs. Slocum has referred the matter of the 485 00:26:02,290 --> 00:26:07,570 centre display to Mr. Rumbold, who took the view, I think quite rightly, that it 486 00:26:07,570 --> 00:26:09,770 should continue under Mr. Granger's command... 487 00:26:09,980 --> 00:26:14,120 where he can continue to deploy his shirts and trousers as he thinks fit. 488 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:19,100 Oh, well done, Mr. Granger. Thank you, Mr. Humphreys. Well done, Mr. Humphreys. 489 00:26:19,940 --> 00:26:23,880 Does that mean we can't have even one bra up there? What do you think? It's a 490 00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:25,240 man's world, isn't it? 491 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:32,300 Captain Peacock, now that I have, as it were, won the day, I feel that in the 492 00:26:32,300 --> 00:26:38,140 interests of interdepartmental relations, I might see my way, perhaps, 493 00:26:38,140 --> 00:26:39,280 him this slocum. 494 00:26:39,870 --> 00:26:43,190 A small foot in my stand. 495 00:26:43,810 --> 00:26:45,770 Shall we say one bra? 496 00:26:45,970 --> 00:26:49,330 Why not? I mean, half a bra would be better than no bra at all, wouldn't it? 497 00:26:50,390 --> 00:26:53,650 Oh, that's too generous of you, Mr. Granger. 498 00:26:53,910 --> 00:26:58,410 Do you accept, Mrs. Lotham? Of course I do, Captain Peacock. Well, then 499 00:26:58,410 --> 00:26:59,410 everything's settled amicably. 500 00:26:59,590 --> 00:27:00,590 Go for that. 501 00:27:00,850 --> 00:27:02,170 I know the very thing. 502 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,200 Granger here. 503 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:21,380 Give me Mr. 504 00:27:21,620 --> 00:27:22,620 Rumbled.